Yes! Relationship-focused therapy is different from couples counseling and focuses on resolving individual attachment wounds at the root so you can show up more securely in your relationship 

Couples counseling focuses on exploring the dynamics between partners and teaching skills for communication, conflict resolution, and mutual problem solving. While we can explore skills for interpersonal communication and regulation that may improve your relationship to your partner, individual relationship-focused therapy is centered around helping you resolve the relationship wounds your partner is activating.

Relationship-focused therapy is for anyone ready to feel a greater sense of authenticity, peace, and fulfillment in romantic partnerships, dating, friendships, or family relationships.

If you’re frustrated at yourself for ending up in repetitive relationship dynamics and conflicts, you would likely benefit from relationship-focused therapy

People who seek out emotionally unavailable partners likely experienced a physically or emotionally unavailable parent in childhood. By seeking out partners that activate the same wound, this provides the opportunity to “earn” affection from someone else unavailable in an attempt to resolve the original unmet need in childhood. 

Self-sabotage in relationships is the result of subconscious defense mechanisms operating to keep you safe from re-experiencing the pain of a previous relationship wound. If you tend to pull away or sabotage relationships, you likely hold a core belief that closeness and intimacy is inherently unsafe or overwhelming. Therapy focused on memory reconsolidation allows us to access the experiences stored in the subconscious mind and nervous system that created these beliefs and heal this fear at the root

Yes! Because relationship wounds are often held in the implicit memory networks of the brain, understanding these wounds on a logical level is rarely enough to process and overcome the pain of these experiences. By using a variety of interventions that incorporate the subconscious mind and nervous system, we can access these wounds on a deeper level which results in deep, transformational change rather than just increased cognitive awareness.

Yes! “Anxious attachment” (also known as Anxious Preoccupied Attachment) refers to a set of predictable relationship behaviors where the person fears abandonment and tends to “cling” or require excessive reassurance from their partner due to a hindered ability to self-soothe. Not only will we practice nervous system regulation skills which will improve your ability to self-soothe in uncertainty, but we will also explore and heal the early childhood experiences which contributed to the development of your attachment style.

Hypervigilance is an adaptation from adverse early childhood experiences where someone experienced harmful and/or unpredictable behavior from a caregiver. This is a survival mechanism where the nervous system learns to stay “on guard” or alert in order to anticipate the next volatile experience. By focusing on nervous system regulation in therapy, we can start to train the nervous system to become less hyper-alert to “false alarms” and transition from a fearful, anxious, or suspicious state into a regulated state more effectively.

Relationships can be a particularly frustrating sticking-point for the successful woman because it feels out of your control. You may be asking yourself, “What if all the good partners are taken? What if I live in the wrong city to find the partner I’m looking for?” I’m here to tell you that none of these self-limiting beliefs are true. By doing the inner healing work to become securely attached, learning to listen to your intuition to identify red-flags, and executing boundaries sooner, you CAN find a partner who is capable of meeting your needs.

Relationships require maintenance and intention in order to foster and maintain connection. If you’re feeling disconnected from your partner, I would recommend couples counseling to explore what needs may be going unmet in your relationship. Individual relationship-focused therapy can be a helpful addition to identify what your deep relationship needs actually are and explore any barriers to intimacy that may be limiting your ability to connect.

While self-help books can increase self-awareness and provide different solutions to common relationship challenges, the relationship wounds that created the “stuckness” are stored in different parts of the brain from the ones used to execute self-help skills. Because of this, common self-help techniques (such as affirmations or communication skills) are stored as information in the cortical brain and become “competing” information against the emotional wounding stored in the implicit memory network. When the nervous system is activated, these implicit memory networks become activated and it becomes more difficult to act based on the knowledge stored in the cortical brain. Part of our work involves re-activating those implicit memory networks with sufficient nervous system safety to actually REPLACE and HEAL the original wounds rather than using “symptom management” techniques commonly taught in self-help books.

Yes! I offer in-person therapy from 9am-4pm, Monday-Friday in Austin, TX and virtual therapy from 9am-6pm for all Texas residents.

A free, 15-minute consultation call will feel casual and low-stakes. I’ll ask you some basic questions about your background and current struggles, and we’ll identify your primary goals for therapy. You’ll have an opportunity to ask me any questions about my treatment approach to ensure this is the right fit for you. There is no pressure to share any personal details you’re not ready to. A first session allows us to outline these goals in more detail, unpack more relevant background information, and begin collaborative treatment planning. You can schedule your free consultation call here or book your first session here if you’re ready to begin your healing journey.